shit storm begins:

violence, headaches, and the desire to be alone again... sigh... and it begins again.again.again. again. i still believe i am the mitigator.

i saw it happen this time, not just noticed it. i will make a photoshop of this
it was sweet. tearful hugging sweet

and the funny thing is, {also unrelated} of the others around me, i can tell when my energy is being hacked/called/shared/stolen/whatever... but i got a phone call the other day of someone who was like,
'hey, i don't know if you can tell or not, but yesterday i was stealing your energy. (giggle giggle)'
its like, dude... not when i'm at work... or at least so hard {unless i respond} cause i noticed.... two days in a row intense entire cranial-aches... which i can deal with(now three)... but also a new nausea... not cool. not a fun death. a desire to puke in a co-worker's car is impolite.
I do know this person.- kindof
but i wouldn't mind if i didn't (wink wink{?} laughter) ahA hA hA i don't mind. sharing is caring.

I can hear the theme song to 'it's always sunny in philAdelphia' right now. it is 11:26... it must be on somewhere in the world.

but in the voicemail he informed me that he cried. i can see that.
I don't got that nickname for nothin'




i can't seem to steer to one(or so) futures. that wouldn't bother me so much except that my present company likes to throw me into it.
hence the shit storm. or what i assume will be the shit storm... i still don't know exactly yet.


I will explain:
i can always tell lengths of time. I can feel when something is about to happen. (recently my guts have been throwing me a shit load of curve balls, but i think that is because i am just changing my 'passcodes')
I do know when i am on the right track and that i need to give something a little more time to grow to the proper thing it is. other times, i know it is 'about to happen'. other times i have to look around the room for something... (that one is a fun one)

right now, things aren't settling properly. but I ass u me I am in the place i should be. things are rough, but malliable.
so i can't gauge what may happen (neither good or bad) or when it will happen. this is all unheard of for me.


I have been reading speeches given by Kurt Vonnegut and he makes me laugh hard. by myself. in public.

tomorrow will be the official start of "make my deadlines" meaning: i make things, and must make sense of them by the end of the week, or they better be big fucking projects.