FIGMENT came and went. that will be discussed elsewhere. I am having my newly found intern write a synopsis of the events, discoveries, and results of the show. I feel like it would be best written from another perspective. that will be linked at a later date. (!!! big smile here!)
(ill add my own pictures later... moderately disheveled)
But I must say, that was SO FREEING. it was lovely. I no longer feel insecure that i enjoy being alone. I no longer give a shit that people don't like things about me. I don't give a shit about anything anymore because I am not hurting anyone (directly or indirectly). holler. so that said, I have even asked the owner of my restaurant to demote me a bit because I am not having as much fun as I used to. So as a result, they have granted my wish, but now bring me along to special events but give me the schedule of my dreams.... however, in return, I am only allowed to sing and dance on Saturdays. give and take.
you wouldn't get that by seeing me alone or in public. yes. i love to talk. and dance. and sing. i am starting to not be scared of it in public either.
my desire to smile and giggle is insatiable. love me and ill love you too. :)
in anycase- my biggest fear is real. cool. good to know I can't really lie anymore. the man in pink didn't really want me to continue avoiding this subject.
but while encountering this man in pink with matching analog loudspeaker/megaphone, 
i must say... something i doubt janet (my intern, (yay!)) will discuss is that my encounter with him matched a dream i had a few years ago. as did another location on the island. the location matched as something in a dream, and the bugle man had matched the coloring table i sat at and the flow of people and situation. so at least now i know what parts seem to resonate in multiple paths...
that part is rough to describe. but all I have to say is... look at those mead psychedelic folders that they sold in the mid- 90s, and then you'll know what i'm getting at.
ah AH hah ahAh
sorry.
how can i discuss the infinite in relation to a mead folder? i am a horrible person with no credibility but my own imagination.
(not true: i have papers to prove i paid enough to think)
new projects are here!!! so much fun!!! my mind is in physicality mode and my hands and eyes like to make it happen. i am refurbishing projects and continuing others. one project is of a collection of newspapers that i have been saving since 2006. that one is a little nutty. a bit too cerebral; but good if my mind were alone. at least it has an audience(?)
good energy work these days. I thank the close quarters on friday the 11th walking to the ferry. it gave me the right jump start to wake and shake things up a bit. that and also the presence of those around me allowed this to be in proven actuality. (this is pre and unrelated to pink)
a friend of mine recently was attacked in a subway station a few weeks ago. her head was slammed against a wall and then was immediately thrown down the stairs. she almost died. now she has 3 metal plates in her head and a sprained ankle. so she is fine and alive... we hung out recently in our usual manner of talking way too much and making food together. this time was pancakes with maple syrup and bbq potato chips... honestly... we are culinary geniuses. in any case, i convinced her to let me do some energy work on her since the moment i walked in her house i felt the trauma in the air.
I did some air circulating practices in the room she spent the most time in, we changed her sheets, and felt her ankle. I didn't want to even get close to her head. I cant deal with mine... why try to sense someone elses? she is also a mathematician with strong kinesthetic abilities.... fuck that.
so in any case, i played with our energies, some close, some touching, just because i could feel the difference between us, I would be able to clearly see how it would effect both of us and where things can go, how it travels, all that. at one point, i think i scared something inside me or brought worry. that is the actual intention in writing this ENTIRE babble.. to explain that entire situation that i was playing with 'fire'. not a cool reference to make, but what can you do. also because i hope that at a later date I will remember the visualization that came to mind.
interesting standpoint.... :) <3
you can see yankee stadium from her bedroom window.
okay, time to buy myself a coke.
ps. i am my father's daughter. he turned his phone off for father's day. sometimes i love that man... other times, he can be a fucking dick. that time was a point for love.
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