this state of otherness i mention in the post directly under this needs further explaination

but i will have to think about it more; then i will come back and edit this post.


4:43 am- now thursday.
I have just been thinking about someone a lot. that path is still questionable to some degree. I don't know the degree or how to describe it.
The situation is unavoidably present, but unattainable.


otherwise, this otherness has to do with the fact that I don't fit in as much as 'conventional' people do. I have no capability to socialize- especially on the short term with expectations for something else.meh. what can you do.